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软性背景弱,如何写好申请文书?| 解析成功案例、附文书

发表时间:2020-03-19 19:26:00  来源:野望文存  浏览:次   【】【】【

有同学想要DIY申请学校,在文书部分不免感到苦恼。小研此次分享我们一个真实案例,看看在申请过程中面对的困难以及是如何解决的。


值得关注的是,构成最终文书的过程是怎样分析和挖掘亮点的。文末,附上成功录取文书,供同学们参考。


陈同学 

本科学术背景 

本科院校 

中山大学 

本科专业 

通信工程 

本科GPA 

3.8/4.0 

申请条件背景 

TOEFL/ IELTS 

100 

GRE/GMAT 

320+3.0 

工作/实习/论文发表 

与本校老师论文研究,一个国内通讯公司实习 

申请信息 

申请专业 

Electrical Engineering 

申请学校 

Duke University,  University?of?Pennsylvania, University of Southern California, New York University, Northeastern University, University of California, Irvine 

录取学校 

University of Southern California, New York University, Northeastern University, University of California, Irvine 

拒录学校 

Duke University,  University?of?Pennsylvania 

 

 

规划以及申请阶段


01.头脑风暴/规划申请方案 


最初转接到这个学生的案子是在2018年6月,学生刚刚结束了大三下学期的课程,GPA非常高3.8,专业GPA 3.9,通信工程专业,并且已经有了非常优秀的TOEFL成绩100分。


但是学生的软性背景较弱,没有好的科研,也没有任何一个实习。时间紧任务重,建议学生好好利用暑假时间,开始准备GRE,并且至少参与一个实习。在一番努力后,学生找到一个国内通讯公司的实习,并开始GRE的学习与考试。 

 

在11月时学生已经有了100,314分,于是帮学生早定校,早做申请。先定了三所学校申请,并根据学生后续考试结果来定剩下三所。在12月学生考出了320的成绩时,定了另外三所学校。12月中旬,该学生已经完成了所有学校的申请,并在1月时已经拿到第一所学校东北大学的录取。 

 

02.与学生家长沟通定校选校以及申请策略,面试准备等 


和学生的选校申请分为2个阶段: 


第一阶段:在最初沟通中,学生对申请学校的期望比较高,非常想进入美国前30的大学。学生是就业导向型,非常看重学校的地理位置和校友资源,倾向于加州的学校。但在最初一轮定校时,学生只有100,314的成绩,于是给学生先定了3个学校,杜克大学,南加州大学和纽约大学。


 纽约大学和南加大学校无论是在学校的综合排名,专业实力,校友资源和地理位置都是非常优秀的。杜克大学综排在前十,EE专业排名稍靠后,这对于想冲名校的学生来说是相对易申请的。 

 

第二阶段: 在12月学生刷出可喜的高分320后,给学生定了另外三所学校,加了一所冲高的宾夕法尼亚大学,综排在前十;一所保底学校东北大学,近年来上升迅猛工科实力超强,地理位置优秀;和另外一所学校加州大学欧文分校,满足学生对于加州地理位置的要求,这所学校在加州系学校里面也是相对好申请的。 


最终的定校方案是杜克大学,宾夕法尼亚大学,纽约大学,南加州大学,东北大学,加州大学欧文分校。2所冲高,2所主申,2所保底学校。 

 

03.遇到的问题/解决方案: 


遇到问题:学生首考二次考GRE都是314分,较一般的分数,他非常的沮丧,这个分数想要冲到前30希望非常小。 


解决方案:和学生进行了一番深入讨论,他的verbal分数还不错,150分,但失误主要在数学上面,只有164分。对于中国学生来说verbal的提高非常困难,但是GRE数学考试都是高中知识,非常容易,难点就在于数学术语不了解。


于是这次给学生的策略是全力复习数学,保满分,verbal循序渐进的提高。


在经过1个多月的全力复习后,学生的GRE终于考到了320分。 

 

最终学生的语言成绩100,320达到名校要求,但为了稳固胜利,鼓励学生再次刷托福和GRE成绩,但因为学生的专业课学习非常紧张,放弃了再冲一下的机会。但这也造成了一点点的遗憾,宾大和杜克都没有获得录取,最好的学校只录到了南加大,但这样的结果学生也是非常满意的。 

 



文书阶段 


01.具体说明申请人申请该专业的优势是什么?  


学校背景好,GPA高,3.8/4.0,获得国家级奖学金(China National Scholarship),专业课知识扎实,数学能力强,在校内活动丰富,乐队成员,参与很多演出活动。 

 

02.举例说明申请人申请该专业的劣势是什么?  


标化成绩刚刚达到名校分数,100,320,软性背景一般,未能参与一些有竞争力科研和实习,只有和一位老师做一些论文研究,一些课程project和实验,参与的一些大型比赛,如美国数学建模竞赛,都未能获得好的奖项。 

 

03.文书思路以及创作过程中最大的挑战和收获是什么?  


挑战:学生总体而言很优秀,对于本专业内的知识非常扎实,但对于自己和未来的认识,对于素材的把握,问题分析能力,有待提高。对于如何将自己的优势呈现录取委员会的经验是肤浅的。在确定文书素材和切入点的时候,未能展现自己的闪光点。


于是在文书创作的过程中,和学生约了很多次沟通,从不同的方面来启发学生。会要求学生回答以下问题:


你的专业兴趣最初来源于哪里?

它怎样发展?

在探索过程中,有何付出与发行?

与此相关的职业动机和求学目标是什么?


于是和学生开始慢慢剖析他的经历。从小时候对于数学的热爱对各种学科竞赛,并获得了各种奖项, 到大学专业学习中遇到的问题和感想,建模竞赛的经历,到大学的乐队的喜悦和收获。和学生的沟通渐入佳境,文书的思路也慢慢打开。 

 

首先他的数学成绩非常好,个人陈述特别提到他小时候对于数学的热爱和获得的成绩,并以此激发了他对于其他数学相关的工程科学的热爱。在进入大学后,深入学习了通信方面的专业知识,其中包含很多数学和计算机知识。这更加深化了他的数学兴趣,也引起计算机编程的兴趣。



所以在文章里面我们也深度挖掘他对两方面的兴趣,并穿插他参与的一次美国大学生数学建模竞赛,在解决问题过程中将自己的学习的理论投入到实践中去。在科研和实习方面,我们看中学生独立学习和研究能力,通过与本校老师论文研究和项目和在实习过程中参与的实践项目,加深了他对专业领域知识的理解。同时,该同学非常上进勤奋,所以在PS的结尾也突出他对于电子工程专业的热爱,渴望及实现将来的抱负。 

 

收获:对于经历普通循规蹈矩的学生,要写出出彩的文书还是有一定的难度。但是我坚信的原则就是,再普通的学生也一定会有出彩的经历和不一样的“他”。在我坚持原则的同时,欣喜的是学生本身也非常积极的配合,因为挖掘他的亮点,需要双方共同的努力,并且需要一定时间。在一次一次的沟通中,学生体会到了破茧成蝶般的成功,激发了自己的潜力,发现了不一样的自己。这是最大的收获。 

 

最后,附上申请文书↓↓↓

 

In retrospect, I have much to be proud of. As a teenager of primary school, I was already obsessed of using mathematical logics to solve practical problems. At such young age, I had already learned the necessity of doing my algebra calculation deep into night in order to achieve constant improvement in my mathematical aptitude. My dedication and commitment secured me major prizes at provincial mathematics competitions. My substantial progress in mathematics also opened the door to developing my intellectual curiosity of a larger world of science and to tapping my tremendous potential. In result, I handled my studies with much facility. No matter how difficult the courses were, I could always invariably reach high marks in all of them. I have also obtained a plenty of awards in mathematics, physics, chemistry and biology competitions. Due to my excellence performance in the National College Entrance Examination, I was enrolled in Communication Engineering Department at Sun Yat-sen University.  

 

In college, I embarked on industrious study and exploration in the field of Telecommunication Engineering. In learning all the subjects of my specialty, I could not only experience the complexity and difficulty of fundamental theories, but also derive great pleasure of the pragmatic knowledge from electronics and computer science. On account of my perseverance for the course studying, my strong interest, my effective learning strategies and analytical approaches, I performed very well academically. Apart from my academic excellence, I have also plunged into many course projects to hone my hands-on competence and experiment skills. For instance, in my Channel Coding Experiment, I realized the encoding and decoding process of convolutional code based on Viterbi Decoding Algorithm using C++. Under various conditions including hard-decision (hard-in-hard-out), soft-in-hard-out, as well as BCJR Decoding Algorithm (soft-in-soft-out), I made great effort in adjusting and debugging my programs and finally obtained satisfied results. 

 

As a student of engineering, I am acutely aware that mathematics and computer science are two important subjects which prove extremely crucial to Communication Engineering. Therefore, I continued to develop my mathematical talents during my college period. In 2016 and 2017, I have participated in Mathematical Contest in Modeling on behalf of my university and won Honorable mention awards for both years. In the contest of 2017, I, as the team leader, explored and predicted the number changes in language speakers in different countries. After breaking down the question into three steps, we tried to first research the relationship between a single population variable and language users by data fitting and predicted the number change of speakers in one language while considering the influence of different factors on the total number of language speakers. Based on the two steps, we proceed onto the exploration of the language used of certain regions. In the process, we encountered the major obstacles of how to quantify the abstract factors influencing the number of language users. Under my organization and leadership, our team, conducted innumerable brainstorm sessions, consulted a huge amount of technical literature, solicited professional guidance from our professors. It was natural for me to only sleep few hours a day. After days of tireless work, we eventually succeed in developing a using a neutral network model.  

 

Relying on my solid foundation in communication engineering, my well-trained experimental skills and hands-on abilities that I developed over the previous undertakings, I entered Professor Lin Zhang’s research program, during which I studied many excellent scientific papers in the field. Among all the papers I have studied, I have learned most from Transceiver Design for MIMO VLC Systems With Integer-Forcing Receivers, which was aim at investigating the transceiver design for multiple-input multiple-output visible light communication (VLC) systems that employ the integer-forcing (IF) lattice decoding technique. It involved a great deal of specialized knowledge outside my scope of study and was a major challenge for me. In order to successfully implement the research method in the paper, I had to catch up with basic concepts such as physical laws of Visible Light, and got myself familiar with experimental procedures. I never slackened my effort and strived to amass as much related knowledge as possible through massively consulting technical journals. With my effort, I obtained the similar research results based on the algorithms and methods in the paper though the BER bit error rate was relatively large. I not only perfected my skills in performing experiments but also cultivated many essential qualities necessary for future research such as self-study, explorative spirit and problem-solving skills. 

 

Not contented with acquiring knowledge simply from scholastic education, I have tried to venture beyond the campus into the larger world to apply my knowledge into practice. In June of 2018, I began a coveted internship at Guangdong Jie Lian Communication Technology Company. I was involved in such responsibilities as simulating Orthogonal Frequency Division Multiplexing (OFDM) modulation, actual wireless measurement and evaluation. OFDM, as a key technology of 4G and 5G communication, is of great value in my studies. By dividing the channel into sub-channels using OFDM, we could effectively deal with the distortion and inter-code crosstalk problems of transmitted signal. In the process, I used Labview software to conduct OFDM modulation before signal transmission, and developed a greater understanding of the OFDM knowledge. During this period, I have acquired considerable professional knowledge and derived significant practical technique in the Communication field. My passion for further study is also heightened.  

 

In the future, I am eager to embark on my career as an Electrical Engineer who will design and create electronic products with my knowledge, skills and expertise at the world-class companies like IBM. I am acutely aware that my four years undergraduate program put me only halfway to my career ambition and a graduate program will help me fulfill this dream. I am thrilled to apply for MS in Electrical Engineering at New York University, one of the largest and distinguished universities in the US. The faculty and students at Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering are creating the most cutting-edge technology at the forefront. Aspiring to receive the most comprehensive and rigorous academic and practical training through your program, I expected to be exposed to the most up-to-date development in fifth-generation (5G) cellular communication, medical diagnostic tools, robot control designing and so on. Moreover, I will also benefit tremendously from the unparalleled location of NYU, New York City, become a part of vital and diversified community and tap into the well-established alumni network. Therefore, I passionately believe that my determination for further study in the field and my professional goal can be fully satisfied through my rewarding study there. 


对申请美国研究生没有方向,又想像陈同学一样收到名校offer

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